blah feeling.

It has been a long, busy, rushed week and I am so glad the weekends are coming. Work has been packed and I felt myself getting anxious more than once. I am still trying to figure out how to manage my stress. Life can be suffocating. Expectations, opinions, competition. I want to get out of this clutter and just live, to just believe that whatever I am doing now is good enough and I do not need to change anything else just because someone thinks that I should be this or that. Don't you sometimes feel like something is chasing us, running after us and we run too, we keep running, we are tired but we have no choice but to keep running, to keep moving. It becomes almost a sin of some sort to just sit down for awhile, be lazy, be slow, whatever you like to call it. I long for that. To just sit down alone, somewhere nice, clean & quiet, no one to breathe down your neck, no one to tell you what to do next, no one to make you feel like you should be doing something more productive other than sitting down there.

Just yesterday, I was reflecting upon our lives and the daily grind. We wake up, we rush to work, rush to get ready. Then we rush out of our houses, rush to catch the bus, train. Then on the train or bus, we are so tensed, trying to squeeze amongst the others who are also trying to get to work on time. We battle with the stressors at work and then after a tiring day, we go through the bus and train squeezing and pushing again to reach home. The day ends. And so I ask myself, what is the significance of each day, have savoured the goodness of the day, am I made the best out of my day or have I made a marathon out of another day. Then the next month comes, the next and the next. We reach the new year and we wondered where time went, why is time flying by so quickly. The questions never ends.

I have no answer for now. I am trying to figure life out. Till then, His grace is sufficient, I will live.